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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto"

"My son just walked in crying, saying he was scared as Trump won. I said, fuck off, you're 22 & British. Oh yes he replied & went to work."

"How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious."

"Pascal: Come on, we must go! Me: Man, you are really making a lot of pressure for 1 Pascal."

"Jesus went to Wal-Mart He couldn't believe all the savings."

"How to cow tip: First, sneak up behind the cow. Next, get into a wide stance. Finally, slip the money into it's bell."

"I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions."

"Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral? the obituary read ""Please send donations in luau flowers."""

"What's a narcissist's favorite color? Reflection"

"Have you watched the documentary about sponges? It's absorbing."