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Joke of the Day

"I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho."

"Yo Mama so fat.. ..she walked past the TV and I missed 3 seasons!"

"There are five frogs staring at me right now but only one can be America's top model."

"What jumps up and down in front of a car ? Froglights !"

"Why do parents love BB-8 so much? He is a great role model."

"""On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge."" - my advice to new teachers"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph... Because he's not a full essay"

"Business idea: Own a profitable business"

"I'd be less scared of trying to take a gun from a mugger than I am of taking an iPad from my kid."

"wife *resting after surgery* me wife me [holding flowers and a Transformers birthday balloon] They didn't have any that said ""Get Well Soon"""