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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Sister : Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Brother : Because the people would think I am F**king you."

"I have an EpiPen I'll use it as a weapon to fend off the repost haters."

"What is the worst thing you can hear while blowing Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"A blowfly walks into a bar.... And asks ""Is this stool taken?"""

"How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture"

"I'm too fat to be a hipster. I'm thinking of becoming a Heapster instead."

"What's the difference between a famous book by Dickens and a woman who buys fake boobs? One is a Tale of Two Cities..."

"I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony. I just imagined everyone with their clothes on."

"*catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*"

"You know why I hate Cancer? I have crabs. *(Zodiac)*"