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Joke of the Day

"I told my SO that now Movember is over they should shave their mustache. She didn't take it very well."

"I'm opening a Canadian-Russian fusion restaurant... It's called Vladimir Poutine."

"WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old"

"If i get a rat tail... If i get a rat tail on my chinese food, should i complain or is it on the house?"

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"I went to the zoo to see some wild animals, however they had only one animal It was a shitzu."

"I really hope it's a typo on your resume where it says you're ""goat oriented""."

"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."

"Marriage is like Thanksgiving dinner You can make it last, but it gets a little worse every day."

"Married life - Honey, are you jealous? - Nope! - Admit it, you're jealous! - I told you, I am not! - Then give me a kiss! - GO KISS THAT UGLY-ASS WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS!"