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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison rape? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around"

"What is the best kind of vegetable? The one in the wheelchair."

"Why did the hipster... Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the hot coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"I don't get laid on Saturdays. The last two words were unnecessary."

"I once watched a documentary on ferns because the remote was out of reach."

"I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work She responded ""yeah, and you have the same problem at home"""

"Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. "

"Did you hear about the Christmas Party in San Bernadino? It was wild. A Muslim couple showed up and put 14 presents six feet under the Christmas Tree."

"Wife to her husband:""Why do you stand in the balcony every time I sing classical?"" The husband replies ""So that the neighbors don't think I'm fucking you forcibly"""

"My boss asked me why I'm late, apparently answering ""because your wife wouldn't let me get out of bed"" just gets you sent to HR."