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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon Go Is Just Like Tinder Both apps require you to swipe to catch monsters in your area."

"I have coffee before looking at art. Brews before hues."

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

"You have to give it to pedophiles They're the only ones who follow the speed limit in school zones"

"A guy goes into a military surplus store... ..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, ""I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"""

"My Girlfriend Told Me I Need To Get In Shape..... I told her ""I am in shape! Round is a shape!"""

"In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination."

"So Abraham Lincoln walks into a bar... ...and says, ""I'll have a shot."" Did I just make up a new lame joke, or has this been done before? I think I need to sleep."

"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."

"Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c ""employment is really important right now"" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her."