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Joke of the Day

"Three Old Nuns... Three Old Nuns are sitting on a park bench, when a man runs up and flashes them. Two of them have a stroke... The other one can't reach."

"Why did the Scotsman sell drugs? He had to get plaid."

"Say what you want about deaf people."

"doc: ""your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas"" me: ""let me try"" [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]"

"I think the best way to reduce stress in your life is to be wealthy and attractive."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick."

"Why isn't Edward leaving Russia? ...because he's snowed in."

"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."

"If you live in Russia... .. then you must've picked ""HARD MODE"" at birth."

"People think having crabs is a bad thing. Still, at least something's sucking my cock."