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Joke of the Day

"Three Old Nuns... Three Old Nuns are sitting on a park bench, when a man runs up and flashes them. Two of them have a stroke... The other one can't reach."

"Last night I dreamt I was walking on a beautiful sandy beach At least that explains the footprints I found this morning in the cat litter box."

"Valve hasn't won yet They're not **tri**-umphant"

"Me and my lover, sitting in a tree A-R-G-U-I-N-G"

"Guy goes to his psychotherapist wearing nothing but some transparent underpants the doctor says, ""I can clearly see your nuts"""

"IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian."

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"Why don't jews have arranged marriage? They have no 'forced kin'. I'm so sorry"

"Successful Lawyers! Good lawyers know the laws and smart lawyers know the judges"

"What do the mafia and a women's pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."