188450

Joke of the Day

"What did your last slave die of? A perforated colon."

"""He be dead."" Who? Your English teacher?"

"(Original) Why should you keep a broken clock? It's just nice having an extra set of hands around."

"What do you call a peeping Tom cat? A Purrr-vert."

"DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys"

"You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation."

"Dark humor is like food Some people just don't get it"

"I have a friend with only one leg. He's been having some issues with stares."

"For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in"

"Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night? Because her hips won't lie."