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Joke of the Day

"When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty."

"I think I start my day angry because I'm forced to see myself naked."

"Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas."

"Every time a famous music composer dies... ... he starts decomposing."

"I hate the beginning and I hate the end So that's why I became a midwife."

"What do you call a pile of cats? a Meowtain"

"What did Charlie Manson get his fiancee? A blood diamond... (doh!)"

"Its important you remember that unprotected phone sex........"

"How much salt does Jihadi John have on his chips? Just a Daesh."

"Life without women would be... a pain in the butt!"