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Joke of the Day

"I just now remembered the Titans."

"What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine."

"$2000 date? We better be sitting at the table with Jay-Z and Obama at the same time while eating dinosaurs & sippin' on virgin Indian tears."

"Why don't married men live as long as single men? They don't want to!"

"I was going to tell a joke about my broken pencil, but there is no point..."

"Feeling pretty good about myself today so I'm going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal"

"Next time you let someone here affect your real life, tell a stranger ""I'm mad at some online person I've never met"" then let them punch you"

"Somebody in here smells really good. I will hunt you down. I will sniff you."

"What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common? They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)"

"whats the secret service of Australia called? M8"