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Joke of the Day

"Long ago, my mentor told me to look into self improvement. He used to mumble a bit, though. Now I don't have the discipline to actually build one, but I know everything about constructing shelves."

Next Joke
 
"Lauren on Facebook asks: ""What's the best way to ward off ghosts?"" To which I replied: ""a camera."""
"A programmer orders 0 drink from the bar. Only when his friend comes in and he orders for both does he get his drink."
"What's the only thing worse than asbestos? Asworstos."
"Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!"
"A Thursday night ""Just got Paroled!"" party down the street! Wooooo! HELL YEAH!! I'm gunna wear my best knife for this one y'all!"
"Why is the Old Testament down on gays? Because the Phyllistines were always making war on the Israelites."
"Did you hear about the kid that became a paraplegic? He had to roll with it..."
"When it comes to Russian Roulette .. .. 5/6 approve"
"What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common? They both have flies on them."