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Joke of the Day

"[morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends...are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no"

"I am learning from my mistake now. My son taught me maths today"

"Walked into a very expensive restaurant, sat down, was handed a menu. Comic Sans. Got up and left. Life is hard."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 85,432 times, you're a weatherman"

"Kayne West Knocked Up Kim Kardashian No punchline needed."

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"An Irishman walks out of a bar."

"Just went to a really emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers"

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"My mom always has these great sayings for life, like ""Don't count your chickens before they hatch"" and ""Everybody hates you."""