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Joke of the Day

"I wanted my girlfriend to give me some time alone so we got married."

"What did the blind man say when he passed by the fish shop? Hello ladies"

"How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to actually change the lightbulb and nine to bring refreshments"

"What do you call a female mushroom who happens to be a killjoy? antifungal"

"My friend David had his Id stolen. Now we just call him Dav.."

"What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on? It twerked."

"Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that's how I feel today."

"Killers normally target Family and friends Good thing I don't have any friends."

"I would never buy a BMW, they're too cheaply made. I mean, they don't even come with turn signals."

"I bumped into a cute guy today. I clawed his face off. I should work on my people skills."