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Joke of the Day

"british people say ""maths"" instead of math because they are big nerds who cannot be satisfied by a single math"

"My fiance said the funniest thing out of context today. Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman."

"What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino? Hell if I know."

"No one likes a motherfucker *Except for the mother*"

"40 years later: - Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth. - Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!"

"What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend? I just need some bread"

"real men.. [twitches uncontrollably] don't hi- [""real man"" skin suit falls off revealing fake man who was the one doing bad stuff all along]"

"Horses are the most negative animals... ...they are such neigh-sayers"

"What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail? Ryan Locht-up"

"When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross."