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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who studied from the greatest teachers in the country, met the greatest scientists, academicians, friends in the country? Donald Trump"

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country, if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel"

"Want to get rid of your husband without killing him? Just send him to the grocery store & ask for pine nuts. Mine has been gone 6 years."

"What do you call a serial killer who can kill with both hands? Ambi*Dexter*ous"

"Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies? They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business."

"If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now"

"Our cats aren't enjoying the 90-degree heat. But I refuse to apologize for climate change until they apologize for pissing on the carpet."

"My Weed dealer needed to do his laundry So I sold him a dime bag of quarters, but I cut it with some canadian shit."

"ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!"

"What is the difference between acne and gay men? Acne only attacks little boys when they reach puberty"