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Joke of the Day

"My poop likes rap music It's down with OP pee."

"Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit."

"was thinking i would go away this easter. figured i would just hang around instead. its what jesus would have done"

"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting."

"'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string"

"Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob? Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can't beat a blowjob."

"Why did the Nazi cross the road? to get to the geno-side."

"It's so freeing to be single again because now I can finally catch up on all the things I've been meaning to do like being really lonely."

"It's nothing serious, we're not dating or anything, we just sometimes get brunch together, were just Friends with Benedict."

"Tried to watch some porn last night but I couldn't buy into the plot... There were just too many holes"