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Joke of the Day

"Since we seem to be terrified of homosexuals, it would seem that the key to conquering America would be to attack us with an all-Gay army."

"My biggest fear is that my last words before dying will be something less than poignant like, ""Gravy is nice."""

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just pass a law against light bulbs and then wonder why it's dark."

"[Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets."

"Egg and a sausage sizzling away in a frying pan The egg says ""fuck me its hot in here"". The sausage goes ""fuck me, a talking egg!"""

"Mark Twain Quote ""Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."""

"What do farmers say when something is important to them? It plays a big tractor."

"I invented a new sexual position called ""The Republican"" where I screw poor people."

"An old gambling buddy told me this joke: What did the man with premature ejaculation say to his blind wife? ""Honey, could you pass me the remote?"" Bet you didn't see THAT coming!"

"Did you hear about the Patriots? I personally think it's all overblown."