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Joke of the Day

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just pass a law against light bulbs and then wonder why it's dark."

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"Women need security -when I'm around."
"Where does the military commander buy his groceries? the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY"
"Apple pie isn't American unless you eat the whole thing in one sitting."
"What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!"
"*bark* ""What's that Lassie?"" *bark bark* ""Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?"" *bark* ""Ooh, dinnertime."""
"A man walked into a bar and a Midget walked into a Bollard"
"MONDAY Y U NO FUN FUN FUN LIKE FRIDAY?"
"If you were on top of a pile of gay guys... would you get off?"
"I signed up on Match.com... They set me up with a couch and a bottle of hand lotion... ...on the bright side it was my 1st 3-way."