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Joke of the Day

"What caused the civil war in Ethiopia? Too many Negus."

"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well... I was amazed, I never knew they worked."

"What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks? Minnesota"

"Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill really pisses me off. Now its only worth 2 more then a $10 bill..."

"What does a pound, a dollar and rumble have in common? For a dollar you can get a pound of rubles."

"How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up."

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"

"I asked my pusher for something to burn that would get me stoned. He gave me the Koran."

"Why did the hipster go to the gynecologist? To get a Pabst smear."

"I dont tweet much abt my goal to poop every letter of the alphabet. Did the easy ones (C, J) yrs ago. Just toughies left. Your B & W. Your Q"