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Joke of the Day

"A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"Why did the Hipster burn his lip? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"What's green, slimy, and smells like pork? Kermit's dick."

"It must have been so risky for pirates to slightly burn the edges of all their treasure maps and then dip them in tea."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" wtf ""woah wait its back on again"" no way ""great he's stole my nose now"" im phoning the police"

"[OC] So I went downstairs to check the time on a clock... But it was saying 4:04: Time Not Found!"

"Once an octopus figures out how to do roundhouse kicks, humans are pretty much done"

"Let me tell you a Statistics Joke. What is a Car in the U.S.? A mode of transportation. :D"

"Stop wearing shirts that make us want to look at your titties if you don't want us to look at your titties, because TITTIES!!"

"just ordered so much food the delivery guy gave me four sets of utensils but it's okay I still love myself"