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Joke of the Day

"Why is my ass good. Because I poop out of it and pick up average household items with it"

"Do you know how we know that Adam and Eve were white? Because even god doesn't have the balls to steal a rib from a black guy"

"My wife gave me a leaflet about anger management last week... I lost it."

"Interviewer: I heard you were extremly quick at Math... Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"In regards to the recent ruble crash in Russia A Russian boy asks his father ""Daddy, can I have 5 ruble for buy milk bread and vodka?"" His father replies ""20 ruble? What you need 50 ruble for?"""

"The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it."

"What do you call something that has nothing to do with elephants? Irrelephant"

"Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people? There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number."

"DEAR ENTIRE WORLD: LIGHTENING IS WHAT BLEACH DOES TO HAIR. LIGHTNING IS WHAT I'M GOING TO STRIKE YOU WITH FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST SPELLING."