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Joke of the Day

"The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away."

"How do Jewish turtles greet each other? Shellom."

"[batteries in my TV remote die for the first time since I bought it 4 years ago] ""Useless piece of shit."""

"Why do slovaks don't like Czechs? They prefer cash."

"I'm not an alcoholic ... Alcoholic's need a drink, but I already have one"

"What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight? I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion"

"Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food."

"Why do dogs wag their tails ? ""Because no one else will do it for them !"""

"The future is now An electrical engineer invented a new kind of transistor that uses tapioca instead of silicon. He called it the boba FET."