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Joke of the Day
"What will they now call hormonally-induced knockers on men? broosts"
Next Joke
"Life is like a penis.. Women make it harder.."
"What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common? The balls are just for decoration"
"Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop."
"I tried to make a robot that ate watches... but it was too time-consuming."
"I'm a secondhand veggietarian. I eat cows. Cows eat grass. It's science. Merica."
"I remember as a child, lying awake at night on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come... ...then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."
"Sled prices are too damn high but you can find a good deal if you're willing toboggan."
"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."
"If I was any hungrier Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would adopt me."