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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"If you wanna make hundreds of friends, you gotta wear a t-shirt with a joke on it. People will not stop laughing. ""This guy,"" they'll say."

"Beneath that furry exterior your cat has at least 6 neck tattoos."

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."

"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just compliment it and then get pissed when it doesn't screw."

"Why did the chicken not cross the road? to not get to the other side."

"Why did the gay choir boy die? He choked on his last hymn."

"What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me"

"My girlfriend and I had a fight and she asked me for distance and time, But for the life of me, i cant figure out why she wants to calculate velocity"