187870

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a high-wire circus trapeze act and the Rockettes? One is a fantastic display of cunning stunts while the other is a fantastic display of stunning cunts"

"""You don't have to press the buttons harder to go faster"" Said no gamer ever."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? A tale of whoa!"

"Never take ecstasy with a squirrel named... hey, squirrel dude, what's your name? Charles? Never take ecstasy with a squirrel named Charles."

"Samsung sold me the wrong phone. I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4."

"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your ""scary"" battle at Normandy, grandpa."

"Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT - plus a rude emoticon - into the face of a massive cliff. Now... we wait."

"I'm glad I was diagnosed with OCD because now I have an even 100 problems."

"Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? It wanted to taco bout his feelings"