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Joke of the Day

"The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."

"What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens."

"I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible. I didn't know how to react."

"[in ambulance] ""Sir, do you know your blood type?"" ""Yeah [coughs & points to wound] red."""

"Good news: It works the other way around. I entered ""internal bleeding"" & ""unconscious"" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew."

"Guys, please don't judge someone based on stuff they wrote themselves in a public forum meant to reach the widest possible audience."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am, can you fucking believe that, 2:30am. Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes."

"Did you hear the one about the Mormon porn star? They spent a year doing missionary work."

"What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes? The arts student gets a mark for it."

"What Did Big Nacho Say To Little Nacho? I'm Nacho Daddy."