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Joke of the Day

"Good news: It works the other way around. I entered ""internal bleeding"" & ""unconscious"" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew."

"FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles."

"Internet dating? No thanks. I like the internet, but I don't like like the internet."

"Someone just honked to get me to get out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead"

"The easiest way to appear photogenic in pictures is by not being ugly."

"My wife told me to go out and come back with something that made her look sexy. I came back drunk."

"Say what you want about Lance Armstrong, but I think being the first man to walk on the Moon is an amazing achievement. They can never take that away from him..."

"You can tune a guitar, but you can't tune a fish"

"What has four legs, feathers, and can fly? Two birds"

"If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet with intelligent life - lets just make patterns in their crop and leave."