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Joke of the Day

"why do nice girls always go for the assholes? I don't even like pegging."

"My neighbour was about to lose his house. So i decided to organise a neighbourhood wide charity orgy to help him. It was truly awe inspiring to see the whole neighbourhood come together like that."

"What's better than having sex with a 9 year old Vietnamese boy? Nothing."

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email."

"I slay pussy like I slay dinosaurs Not at all."

"Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael? Because she's got Jorah on Her Mind."

"Handicap jokes are getting old And quite honestly, they're lame as fuck."

"I wish there was some way to get rid of the stupid apple in this caramel apple."

"I ran into my dad earlier... Shitty driving must run in the family..."