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Joke of the Day

"Woman at drive-thru just called me ""honey."" Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike."

"What do you call a Middle Eastern sorceress? A sandwitch."

"Shakespeare could see the future. He knew people would listen to only two types of music. Doobie or not Doobie."

"Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!"

"Knock knock Who's there? Police. Your wife has been involved in a terrible car accident."

"What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy? Uniball"

"What do having sex and playing cards have in common? If you dont have a partner. You better have a good hand."

"My track record as an adult is mostly false starts, hurdles and running around in a circle."

"What country is the most fragile? China!"

"How much poutine was left after the hockey game? Nunavet"