225738

Joke of the Day

"How much poutine was left after the hockey game? Nunavet"

"MOM STOP LICKING YOUR FINGER TO CLEAN MY FACE I'M IN A GANG NOW"

"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."

"Where do hipsters swim? Not in the mainstream"

"Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda."

"My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex... Just this morning she asked me ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"Peterpan Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands. I love this joke because it never grows old."

"What was the jew doing in the ashtray? Family research."

"NO MORE READING! Yesterday I was reading this article in the newspaper about all the danger of alcohol. It scared the crap out of me!!! So that's it - from this day forward, NO MORE READING!"

"What's blue, and smells like red paint? Blue paint"