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Joke of the Day

"The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco"

"Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child? A: Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control."

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"

"What happens to all Vertibird pilots? They Fallout"

"Nice try Asian guy in porns."

"According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/"

"What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !"

"A special joke for Mothers Day What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke."

"What do you call a gay tramp? Hobosexual"

"Him- I saw you over here sipping your wine. Me- You clearly have me mistaken for another very attractive woman, because I don't sip wine."