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Joke of the Day

"I just got home and found someone had stolen my bed! I walked in and it was gone. Honestly, i'm not lying"

"I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting"

"Someone asked me why my ringtone is the ""Like a G6."" Up until now I thought it was ""Like a cheese stick."""

"How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb? less than twelve parsecs."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator"

"Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"

"I hate Mexican jokes... They always cross the line."

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."

"You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance."