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Joke of the Day

"I just got home and found someone had stolen my bed! I walked in and it was gone. Honestly, i'm not lying"

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one, but it takes a very long time and the light bulb has to really want to change."

"What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up? A Dell."

"I grew up in a small town that only had one general store, one bar and one prostitute. Mum found it pretty hard working three jobs"

"Schools are giving kids a bad influence nowadays..... When they go into the real world they'll be expecting free handouts."

"When someone posts ""Hmmm. That was interesting..."" as their status on FB, I never ask what they're talking about because it never is."

"strong password Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars."

"Best love poem Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, date me"

"*Filling out application* Sex: ""no thanks"" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex."

"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""