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Joke of the Day

"Refugees do the jobs no one wants to do. Like being a suicide bomber."

"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in between"

"Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks."

"Why didn't Hitler get an A on the math exam? He didn't complete the final solution. I wrote that in my sleep."

"I was fired from my job as a bingo caller.... ....apparently ""a meal for two with a hairy view"" is not the way to call number 69."

"I got fucking hammered last night so I made sure I took the bus home It was ok, except for all the passengers screaming at me to stop driving."

"Why can we never actually see the sun? Because it's in da-skies!"

"How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. ""You're welcome. """

"""Man this milk is SO strong. It's got like, 30% lactose or some shit. Whatever that means."" -baby parties"

"What do you call a West African cricketer? Ebola"