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Joke of the Day

"""Man this milk is SO strong. It's got like, 30% lactose or some shit. Whatever that means."" -baby parties"

"Why are there trees in Harlem? Public Transport"

"Thumb war is never the thumb answer."

"""I see your bet and raise you all my hair since 6th grade. Oh and this pen."" ""Sir that's not- ""You got a problem with pens?"""

"Apple is suing Qualcomm for selling them overpriced chips. Punchline ends."

"Women are cursed, and men are the proof."

"There's a very thin line between having your foot out of the covers enough to stay cool but not enough so it gets eaten by monsters."

"Why cant black people get PhD's? Because they can't get past their Masters."

"Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel ... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go."

"Bro: Dude, is this YOUR Shakira CD??? Me: What? No....it's my wife's..... Hips: No.... It's his... Me: Shut up Hips!"