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Joke of the Day

"My Grandpa said to me the other day, ""Your generation relies too much on technology"" I replied, "" no your generation relies too much on technology"" then I unplugged his life support. Stupid asshole"

"Did you hear? They're making the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey into a romantic comedy. It's going to be called ""50 Hues of Gray""."

"Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls."

"What's all brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"

"Have you heard about the gay boogeyman? He'll hide anywhere *except* your closet."

"""Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."" ""10 kilograms you say?"" ""Yeah, 5 kilograms"""

"Life is a bitch Sometimes, When you are happy... no one sees your smile... When you cry ... no one sees your tears... But fart just one time :p"

"Sex between 3 people is a threesome, 2 is a twosome... Does that make me a handsome guy?"

"What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash? Take your time, there's no Rush..."

"I was at a Pakistani owned gas station... There was some sort of problem with my debit card at the pump. I know this because a message popped up that said ""PLEASE SEE KASHIR."""