1876

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I do things to children that they're too young to understand... ...such as teaching them calculus and microbiology."

"When someone says ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes""."

"""Yogurt!"" Gurt: ""Yes?"""

"I decided to make my password ""incorrect"" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ""Your password is incorrect."""

"To whom was Shia LaBeouf chanting ""*He will not divide us*"" after he got arrested yesterday? His buttcheeks."

"How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains."

"What does an orphan get for Christmas? Really lonely."

"You may want to check out my new book on masturbation. It's called ""50 ways to love your lever"""

"[creepy mansion] ME: That portrait is watching us MAN: No way ME: [goes right up to portrait] I'm vegan PORTRAIT: [rolls eyes] ME: I knew it"

"What was the name of the hobbit who went to get frozen yoghurt? Froyo Baggins."