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Joke of the Day

"Each and every pizza can be a personal pizza if you just believe in yourself and don't have any friends."

"Why doesn't Jesus eat M&M's? Because of the holes in his hands."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."

"What's better than eating a mandarin? Eating a manda-out."

"What' the bare minimum? One bear"

"My girlfriend broke up with me. She said ""I'm sorry, but you're just too immature."" I looked her dead in the face and said ""Get the fuck outa my treehouse!"""

"What causes the bird on a pirate's shoulder to repeat 'pieces of nine, pieces of seven, pieces of nine....'? Parity error."

"My Grandfather died in the holocaust... ...he got drunk and fell off a watch tower. I remember NOFX said this when I went to see them can't take credit."

"Wouldst the genuine Slim Shady kindly arise?"

"Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something."