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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather died in the holocaust... ...he got drunk and fell off a watch tower. I remember NOFX said this when I went to see them can't take credit."

"Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire."

"Do stoners just call it a five? Do native American Indians just ask 'Are you?' after greeting someone? Do Canadians buy smaller batteries by accident, eh?"

"Paedophiles are a myth paedophiles are a myth and ya nan is a terrorist."

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer got Jobs."

"In retrospect, replying ""Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory"", probably wasn't the best way to respond to my therapist."

"What do you call a sudden breeze at The Masters? Augusta wind."

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday!"

"So Miley Cyrus was hospitalized after an allergic reaction. Apparently the ecstasy she took was made in a facility which also processes tree nuts."

"What kind of sex do boring people have? Banal."