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Joke of the Day

"May 4th is Star Wars day May the 4th be with you!"

"What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints? With a track-tor!"

"A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything."

"What goes ""Hahahahaha...*thud*""? Someone laughing their head off"

"What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl? Gives the X Box back to grandkids"

"Why do Baptists forbid premarital sex? Because they're afraid it could lead to dancing."

"Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed."

"Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Cuz there's no way that amount of shit can fit into a normal shoe"

"OPRAH AND AIRPORT SECURITY Q: Did you hear why Rosie O'Donnell got arrested? A: Airport security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of crack."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It doesn't matter because they can't change anything."