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Joke of the Day

"What does the Pope use to dry his hands? Papal towels."

"If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff."

"Quiting smoking is easy I've done it hundreds of times."

"Im going to make only Paula Deen recipes from now on... So when someone is like,""Oh that was great!!"", ill know they're racist."

"There's only one similarity between Donald Trump and Feminists. Redditors hate them both."

"What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day? Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day."

"If there's one thing Trump should have learned from history... It's that the theater has NEVER been a safe space for presidents."

"Girl, my life is full of tragedy. In 1997, my girlfriend was killed by a guy named Sephiroth. AND she was our party's only healer :("

"My wife just found a pretzel in her hair and then she ate it and I didn't know I could love her more."

"If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning."