142082

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day? Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day."

"What do you call an Indian man who fought for years for peace that then transitioned into a woman? Mahatma Gone-D"

"You know how you'll see something a million times, but can't find it when you need it? That's why I stopped buying condoms."

"I'm guessing the person who decided to call it 'common sense' didn't know that many people."

"A drinking game where you do a shot every time you are prompted to update Adobe"

"*Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*"

"What dog has money? A bloodhound because he is always picking up scents (cents)."

"[turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here"

"My credit card company sent me a final notice bill. Good, I was tired of hearing from them"

"All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards. It was difficult to deal with."