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Joke of the Day

"If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning."

"What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk? A bird that stinks to high heaven."

"Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March? They only had 2 trucks."

"*seductively boils hot dog* *suggestively unscrews ketchup bottle* *alluringly toasts bun* *erotically describes this in between asterisks*"

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours."

"I can never decide whether to slam on my breaks or go through a yellow light, so I do an annoying combination."

"The Rabbit and the Seagull On a long summer day, a fat man was walking down Michigan Avenue. A black guy ran up to him and said, ""........"

"What is better than Roses on a Piano? Tulips on an Organ."

"Instead of a blue or pink balloon for a gender reveal.. A piggy bank should be smashed revealing $1 for a boy or 78 cents for a girl."