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Joke of the Day

"It was hard work, but I finally fixed the laundry machine The wife beater is nice and clean again :)"

"I don't have a penis April Fools"

"I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people."

"I don't get people that talk to themselves"

"Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.... So I was like na, more like pirate and booty."

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60 She's 93 now and we don't know where the hell she is."

"What do you call a group of crows? The end of season 5."

"What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick? You should know more than your dog."

"Of all the cars in Italy... Mussolini's is the fascist."