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Joke of the Day

"Beer commercials tell us we should drink ""responsibly"". So I'm starting a college fund for my kids with all the empty cans."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"

"Why does the hipster make crappy coffee? The beans are always under-ground."

"I'm a law student who's doing an IT subject this semester... and i've been asked whether I know Jake Weary over four times now! Who the heck is he?"

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"When you watch the movie Titanic, it's just the Anic. Because they edit the tits out."

"All my friends clubbed together and got me a sweater I would've preferred a moaner or a screamer, but you can't have it all"

"Don't make eye contact with me at McDonalds. We're both here for our own sad reasons."

"Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with feminists"