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Joke of the Day

"Why was the gay man ambitious? Because all he wanted to do was *SUCCEED*."

"Shoutout to rattlesnakes and condoms... Because I don't fuck with either of them."

"""W.A.D."" a simple mnemonic device for remembering the steps in folding a fitted sheet stands for: 1. Wad it up; 2. And; 3. Done"

"Don't you hate it when your girlfriend yells out a different name during sex Like bitch, my name isn't ""someone help"""

"I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy."

"Why did the undercover cop pose as a waiter? So he could protect and serve."

"Being single is like a vacuum cleaner: its sucks when you're turned on"

"What did the ghost say to the bee? Boobee!"

"What's ET short for? His stupid little legs."

"Why didn't Herbert Hoover get re-elected? Because he sucked."