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Joke of the Day

"there is no need for awkward apologies if you walk in on someone and they're naked, just say ""haha saw your doodle"" and walk off. simples"

"Popeye was a lonely sailor no wonder why he had such big forearms."

"First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework."

"Rick astley will let you borrow any movie from his collection of Pixar films except one. He's never going to give you Up."

"So Cheech Marin plays golf now, which is appropriate Because what's more Mexican than sweating balls on a freshly-mowed lawn with a bag full of weapons?"

"You say I'm ""Dirty minded"" but then how did you understand what I meant?"

"*smels vinyl record* The Continents r ok but they wer way beter befor they split up. do u kno the supergroup Pangaea? its from befor ur time"

"""911 whats your emerge-"" I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE THESE PANTS OFF WITHOUT TAKING OFF MY SHOES"

"People tend to put their faith in a higher power. But to me that's just a primitive solution."

"Why are gardeners the best pimps? Because they are well versed in whorticulture"