187080

Joke of the Day

"What's easier to load into a garbage truck, babies or bowling balls? Babies, because you can use a pitchfork."

"No internet access in Cairo- Now the country is just called Gypt."

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin."

"Why is leather armour the best for sneaking? Because it's literally made of hide. *Ba Dum Tsss"

"""what's your most cherished memory keith?"" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once"

"Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!"

"What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment ? A flat fish !"

"Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species. I left there full of egret."

"What was the slutty princess full of? Kingdom come"

"Where do computer scientists go to have a drink? To the foobar."