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Joke of the Day

"Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate."

"For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say ""Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"""

"Taylor swift waved at a boy yesterday But he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist? 30 of them are triggered every second"

"Advent calendars Their days are numbered."

"What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway? A nun with a spear through her head."

"But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :("

"You can put Hillary Clinton supporters into two baskets. The basket of adorables, and the basket of deportables."

"What's difference between good weed and good pussy? You can smell the weed from across the room."

"A Brief History of Our Times: As televisions became flatter, people became rounder."