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Joke of the Day
"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds."
Next Joke
"You know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."
"""I'd like to raise a toast."" *Levitates bread*"
"A woman is like a bucket of KFC... Once you're past the tender breasts and the juicy thighs all you have left is a greasy wet box to put your bone in."
"What comes in pairs? seeds"
"A hotdog and a hamburger are haveing a pooping contest... The hamburger is winning. In order to ketchup, the hotdog mustard."
"Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or a tiger? I'd rather have him chase the tiger."
"Where do Zika babies come from? A guy trying to get a little head."
"Fun Prank: Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They'll think they have a poltergeist and move"
"BOSS: Don't just stand there. ME: Bust a move? BOSS: What? ME: Nothing, I'll go make some copies."