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Joke of the Day

"My mother always told me ""if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all""...and some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them."

"I work in a call center and i'm a white dude and had an Indian customer who can't understand tech support... Oh the irony.."

"What do you call a rude criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"My bunny thumps at trash collectors. Nice to know that if the Sanitation Dept. ever has ill intentions, she won't stand for any of that shit"

"Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername? ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife!"" Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)"

"So an Italian light bulb walks into a bar... The light bulb tells the bartender he needs ibuprofen. The bartender asks, ""Why so?"" The light bulb replies, ""I'm a light headed!"""

"Before I say a wtc joke... On a scale of 9 to 11, how offended are you by it?"

"Why is Paul Walker and Rihannas new song the same? They both went up in flames."

"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"

"Life is like a box of chocolates.... it doesn't last as long for fat people."